Designated Fat Girl by Jennifer Joyner

Author:Jennifer Joyner [JOYNER, JENNIFER]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780762796250
Publisher: skirt!

When I first found out we were having a baby, I was ecstatic. Michael and I had waited for so long, watched so many friends and family members become parents, welcoming new additions. Finally it was our turn. Sure, I would have liked to be thinner; as it was, I was still very heavy when I became pregnant with my daughter, Emma. But I had just lost a lot of weight, and I was in a pretty good place emotionally. I was coming off the daily torture that is binge eating, and I was starting to have more natural, realistic thoughts when it came to what went into my mouth. Yes, I still ate too much, and too many of the wrong foods, but hey! I was pregnant! I was with child. That’s license, right? For the first time in really my whole life, I ate without guilt. I didn’t beat myself up with every indulgence, and that was so liberating. I could go through my days feeling good about myself and my situation, something that was so rare for me, I hardly knew what to do with it. And because I was in a good place, because I gave myself a break, I didn’t binge. I never once overstuffed myself with food, making frantic promises to do better the next day. I didn’t have to live under that threat umbrella. I was free.

All of that soon came to a screeching halt.

On the day I went in for my glucose test, where they determine if you’re suffering from gestational diabetes, I clearly had no clue. I’d been at work all day and thought the hour-long drive to the doctor’s office was the perfect time to drink a nice cold twenty-ounce bottle of Mountain Dew. Um … hello? Blood glucose test? Sugar? Probably not a good idea! Still, it wasn’t like they told me to fast or anything, and I figured I should go about my normal routine. I was still drinking one soda a day, and I didn’t think much about it.

I flunked the test.

It was only then that I truly considered the possibility of diabetes. Sure, this was gestational diabetes, a condition that would likely go away once my pregnancy was complete. But until then I would have to do all kinds of special things to monitor my health and that of my baby. Plus, having gestational diabetes makes you more prone to develop the disease later in life.

I was devastated. Gone was the liberating feeling I’d had about eating; now I would have to worry over every little thing that went into my mouth. I’d have to monitor my blood sugar levels by sticking myself with a needle every day. And I would agonize about my unborn baby’s health.

Not how I envisioned my pregnancy.

I had a really hard time following the diet plan. My limited palate made it hard for me to find good foods to eat—ones that I actually liked. On a good day I was a carb-obsessed freak: breads, chips, sodas, and so on.

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